I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
