he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
why do cheetos always look like penises
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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