Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Boobs speak an international language.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
