Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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