Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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