dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
