remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
