As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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