I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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