Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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