He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
