Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
