What did we do last night that was yellow?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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