It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
