That's intense
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
