that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
