So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
