Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
