I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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