I wannas sexs uuuuu
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
