Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is the high leading the old right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
