dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
