your room smells of hookers.
And success
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
