look no pants
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
