So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
