Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
