You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
