yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
