Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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