Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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