I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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