Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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