So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
