I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
