he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She announced her abortion via fbk
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
