I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
