whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
