her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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