i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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