i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
