My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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