i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
