so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
