Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
