just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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