Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
