we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
third nipple confirmed
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
