Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
