My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
