Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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