you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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