Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
