Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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