you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
