NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
