But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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